10 Things I Hate About Weddings


I love weddings, for the past 10 years or so I’ve lived, breathed and dreamed about pretty wedding things.  I usually love going to weddings too – but lately with our circle of friends all getting married seemingly at once, I’m secretly beginning to loathe some parts of them.

calendar with wedding date

1. Too Many Weddings All At Once, All During the Summer Months

June is the most popular month (still) for getting married.  Summer has always been, and probably always will be, popular for weddings, but if you know other friends or relatives who are also planning nuptials in the same year, please check with them when they are planning on tying the knot.  This year alone I have 3 weddings all in August and 1 in October – and those are the ones I know of so far!  That means I will have at the very least, 3 bridal showers and possibly 3 bachlorette parties all during the summer weekends.
Now, let’s do the math, there are approximately 13 weekends from late June until mid-September (the official summer season).  With 9 events on weekends, that means the majority of my summer weekends will be spent at a party of some sort.  I also have 2 friends pregnant due in July, so add to that list, 2 baby showers – and I am now officially unable to schedule a family summer vacation this year.  Sure I could say “no” and just send a gift, but these are my friends and/or relatives and I would really like to attend these events.  For those planning a wedding, there is nothing wrong with a spring, fall or winter wedding – in fact I would prefer it, I’m usually bored wishing I had something to do in the middle of February!
cocktail dresses for a wedding

Source: Gorge Autiful

2. So Many Parties, So Many Dresses and Shoes!

I’m not one to complain about shopping, in fact retail therapy is my favorite type of therapy –  my boyfriend jokes that my shoe collection could rival Carrie’s shoe collection from Sex and the City! (I swear it’s not THAT bad!) But with so many events this summer, I will need to buy a dress for every occasion, shoes (maybe I have some that will work) and accessories possibly too.  Heaven forbid (insert sarcasm) I reuse a dress from a wedding from 2 weeks ago, and its almost certain that a casual dress I wore for a bridal shower won’t work for an evening wedding. I’m so jealous of men, they can recycle a suit and just change out the shirt and tie to make it look “fresh”.  This summer is going to cost me a small fortune in clothing, most of which I probably will never wear again.
Wedding on a Friday

3. Friday Afternoon Weddings Are Hell On Your Guest’s Work Schedule

I understand that Friday weddings are cheaper, but possibly not more than $1,000 difference according to A Bride on a Budget. I understand you really want an after party and a morning brunch — and Saturday is the perfect day for those events, so that guests can rest up on Sunday for work on Monday – but Friday weddings in the afternoon force guests who want to attend to take off an entire day’s work. For some out of town guests, they will have to take off an additional day to travel, meaning they will have to take off on Thursday too.

If you really want a Friday wedding – go for it, but please try to schedule the ceremony for late afternoon or early evening.  A 1 o’clock wedding ceremony may be too much to expect of all your guests – so please don’t feel offended when I show up for the reception and not the ceremony.  I would really love to attend your ceremony, if it was later in the day.


woman waiting in a coffee shop

Source: The Guardian

4. A Long Wait Between the Ceremony and Reception

I understand that your ceremony location may only have certain time “slots” available for weddings, mainly religious venues, but please plan your reception time accordingly.  It is customary to have a ‘reception to follow’ which means exactly that – allowing enough time for guests to travel to the other venue if necessary.  If you want an evening wedding and your ceremony space only allows for daytime nuptials, then you may want to consider a different location, change your reception time or provide someplace to go for guests (especially those who are traveling). Otherwise, I’ll be hanging out in a local coffee shop waiting, and waiting, and waiting … or I may just have to pass on your ceremony, which quite frankly bums me out… because I want to be there.


dj wedding booth serena so photography

Source: Serena So Photography

4. DJ, Know The Wedding Timeline

I’m not sure if this one is entirely the DJ’s fault or if it’s the couple demanding a certain playlist, but either way, select appropriate music for different segments of the wedding.  For example, one wedding I attended the DJ pumped dance music from the moment we entered throughout dinner and after.  While we were up and about socializing we missed both the salad and pasta courses.  By the time we returned to the table to find out when dinner would be served, we were surprised to find our entrées on the table, cold.

 

large wedding centerpieces

5. Obstructed Views – Large Centerpieces

Either no one at your wedding gets along and these are a way to avoid conflict, or you really don’t want me to have a conversation with the other side of the table.  And it’s great that I “won” such a lovely piece, but I forgot my flatbed truck at home.
 place card wedding frame

 6. Seat Me Next To Those I Know

How much I enjoy your wedding really depends on whom you seat me with.  Chances are most of your guests will move around to talk and spend time with those they really know.  But dinner is so much more enjoyable when I am seated next to friends or relatives – if you want to mix it up, that’s ok, but please don’t sit me with an entire table of strangers!  Seating assignments are somewhat important, unless you don’t mind your guests playing musical chairs all night.

 

radiant-orchid-bridal-party-toastSource: True Photography

7. Super Long, Drawn Out Speeches or Long Photo Montages

I don’t mind wedding toasts – I love them when they have a story to tell, are heartwarming or are funny.  But please keep them short and please don’t ask everyone who is close to you to give one.  Your wedding is a time where we want to celebrate and enjoy your newly married life – not listen to 2-3 hours of speeches before and during the dinner.  The same with photo montages, keep them short and sweet – I love looking at how you grew up and met, but limit it to 10 minutes or less – your guests can become bored.

purple-wedding-bouquet-tossSource: Pamela Marie Photography

8. The Dreaded Bouquet and the Awkward Garter Toss

The bouquet toss has turned into every comedy movie cliche, with women scampering and fighting over who will be the next one to be married.  And it’s really awkward to see your groom creepily slide up your dress to take off your garter with his teeth only to toss it to his single guy friends.  I refuse to participate in these events because I really don’t want some single, strange guy, slipping your garter onto my leg.  This is one tradition that needs to be “tossed”.

Wedding-cash-bar-only-sign

9. Having A Cash Bar

Experts, etiquette professionals and guests agree – having a cash bar is a no-no.  Don’t believe me, check out David Tutera on Open Bar vs Cash Bar on YouTube.  He’s right – I am coming to your wedding with probably no cash in my wallet, so how am I to drink?

But The Knot sums it up the best:

When you have a wedding, you’re inviting people to a party, and they shouldn’t have to pay for anything while they’re there

If you can’t afford to foot the bill for your guests, consider other areas to cut down the budget on (centerpieces, decor, your 400 person guest list). People come to a wedding expecting food and drinks.  Would you go to a backyard BBQ and expect liquor? Its the same concept.  There are other options to cut down on your bar bill such as offering beer and wine only, having signature drinks or asking if you can bring in your own liquor.  But please, please, no cash bars!

Happily Ever After Wedding Sign

Source

10. Your Wedding Isn’t Fun

No matter how hard you try to personalize your wedding, your wedding is exactly the same: ceremony, cocktail hour, reception (and possibly after party and brunch).  At best your wedding is traditional, at worst it is generic.  There’s nothing wrong with traditional, but it is boring.  In other words: if you’ve been to one, you’ve been to them all! How many of you have sat at a wedding watching the clock tick until it was socially acceptable to leave (sometime after the cake was cut) while you played Candy Crush or scrolled Facebook on your phone?

Weddings in 2014 are trending towards guests’ entertainment and this is a good thing: we want to have a good time.  We don’t just want to eat and talk – we want to have fun! Give us something to do! There are many alternative wedding entertainment options: games, specialty performers, artists, musicians, temporary tattoo booths and more.

Now don’t get me wrong from this list, I don’t actually hate weddings – I really enjoy them for the most part.  Tell me in the comments below, what is the one thing you hate about attending a wedding?

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About

Founder of Inked Weddings and an 11 year veteran of the wedding industry, Erica has seen it all - and has a growing collection of her own personal Ink. She lives in between New York City and New Jersey with her beau, geek-in-training tween son, a newborn rock star to be, a rescue dog and two finicky Russian blue cats. Loves coffee, high heels, Helsinki and has a penchant for bad boys who are secretly superheros.

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