Stress Free Wedding Planning: Say “I Won’t” Before “I Do”

The stress of wedding planning can cause strain on even the most solid relationships and cause you to lose sleep as you immerse yourself into planning the big day.  Commit to these ten tips for stress free wedding planning and you’re guaranteed not to have any gray hairs before you tie the knot.


1. I won’t stress over my weight


Repeat after me, “I won’t stress over my weight”.  Your partner loves you, or he wouldn’t have asked you to marry him.  If he loves you in your yoga pants, old tee with your hair pulled back and no-make up on - trust me it doesn’t make an ounce of difference to him what that scale says.  And if you’re worried that guests are going to judge you - don’t.  Anyone who judges you on your wedding day doesn’t deserve to be invited - or to continue to be in your circle of trust.

If you haven’t bought your dress yet, buy it at your regular dress size.  If you lose a few pounds before the first alterations, that’s ok, but don’t try to lose a ton of weight. Don’t try to lose weight after you’ve already purchased your wedding dress either.  If you lose too much, the alterations may not be able to be made and you may find yourself scrambling to find a new dress without much time.  Not to mention crash dieting makes many cranky, bitchy and unable to handle the stresses just before the wedding.   Eat right, drinks lots of water and get plenty of rest.  Those are the only things you should be saying “I do” to for your wedding dieting plans.


2. I won’t blow my budget by wanting what I can’t afford


Weddings are expensive enough, you really don’t need to spend money frivolously on items you may really want - but don’t necessarily need.  None of your guests are going to know the difference between those exotic orchids you really wanted but instead opted for flowers in season.  If you’re going to spend money - make it count: on food and entertainment, the top two things that matter the most to your guests - and on your photography so you will have memories that last a lifetime.

Before you splurge on that spur of the moment item that you must have, ask yourself this: “Will having this really add to my wedding day? Is this going to be significant to me 10 years down the line?”  Chances are if your buying it only to impress a few guests it isn’t really worth it. They won’t even remember it after the wedding. And its not worth the potential argument if your fiancé is trying to keep a balanced budget.  Talk it over with your fiancé over your budget expectations and whats important and say “I do” to keeping the reality of your wedding planning in check.


3. I won’t make unreasonable demands of my bridesmaids


Every friend knows that wearing the obligatory bridesmaid dress, going to the pre-wedding parties, attending the fittings, etc… is part of being a good bridesmaid.  But sometimes good-natured, fun loving women mysteriously morph into bridezillas and turn the awesome honor of being a bridesmaid into a task no one wants to be a part of.  Whether its demanding a costly out of town bachlorette party to insisting that every woman wear the exact same dress, hairstyle, shoes, purse, accessories, spray tan and even lipstick color - sometimes the privilege turns into a prison sentence.  Suddenly your friendship is strained and long time friends become long distance friends after the wedding.

Let’s face it, happy bridesmaids = happy pre-wedding parties, lots of fun and good memories.  Be conscious of your bridesmaids budgets and their individual needs.  Maybe that hot pink colored dress doesn’t look good on everyone - mix it up with similar hues that work well with each bridesmaids skin tone.  Maybe one is supermodel tall and another is petite - vary the lengths of their dresses so they will feel comfortable.   What matters most is that they are there for you, to help ease your wedding stress - please don’t add to theirs.  Say “I do” to giving them some leeway in their choices including where they can afford to go for the bachlorette party, and promise yourself you won’t micromanage every little detail.


4. I won’t invite everyone I’ve ever known (and their +1s)


Here’s a great rule of thumb: only invite those who are close to you and those who you keep in contact with fairly regularly to keep your guest list down.   If one of you must invite every cousin, second cousin and third cousin twice removed because Great Aunt Jane will be upset that all the cousins weren’t invited (like my boyfriend’s family would feel, if we were to get married) - then eliminate any (+1s) plus ones that you can.  There’s no need to invite the cousin’s girlfriend unless they have been exclusively dating for a while.  By paying for all those extra guests whom you really never met and have no importance to you on your big day, you’re only adding to the expense of your wedding. Remember this is your wedding and you don’t need to be pressured, if you want to keep it simple, small and intimate then it is your choice.  But if you make a rule, (such as no co-workers, no third cousins, or no flings invited) make sure you stick to it across the board.  Repeat:  I won’t blow my budget because of pressure, I will only say “I Do” to inviting only those who mean the most.


5. I won’t obsess over my wedding registry


It can eat up your time - between reading product reviews, consulting with your other half, deciding which stores to register for, altering your registry online after you’ve shopped in store, to monitoring what has and has not been purchased yet - your registry will become all consuming.  And it will take up many days until your wedding arrives if you don’t keep it in check.  Ever hear of the phrase, “set it and forget it”? Well it applies to registries too. Add what you’d like and let there be some surprises at your bridal shower.  The more you let it consume you the less time you’ll have for other areas of your life.


6. I won’t be a slave to the wedding industry blogs and I won’t stress if my wedding doesn’t fit into blog trends

Via StyleMePretty

Vintage, lace, rustic, outdoors - a few words you’ll see floating around the wedding blogs these days highlighting the current trends.  While these weddings are lovely - maybe they aren’t you.  Don’t plan your wedding around visions of antiqued battenburg lace and hanging mason jars if its not “you”.  Plan your wedding in a style that suits your taste as a couple; it is a reflection of you both. If you’re a little bit country and he’s a little bit rock n roll, there’s nothing wrong with combining your visions into something you both will enjoy.  And while browsing wedding blogs may give you some ideas for your own nuptials, don’t become obsessed over duplicating someone else’s wedding.


7. I won’t let my thank you notes build up

custom-photo-wedding-thank-you-cardsBuy them via MostazaSeedGraphics on Etsy

One of the most stressful things about hosting a large event is the amount of thank you notes that have to be written after - and it only gets worse the longer you wait to write them out.  Fun postcards like the ones above make writing out your thank yous a breeze, just include a short message on the back and drop them in the mail. Write them out as soon as the gifts start to arrive.  Or if your wedding has already passed, write them out in small batches, say 10 per day until they are finished.  Breaking them up into a short period of time will make them more bearable than having to write out 100+ cards at once.


8. I won’t stress about his bachelor party


Chances are he’s more about having one last night out with his boys than the expensive show his friends chipped in for.  Whatever you do, don’t stress about his last night out with the guys without you.  Let him enjoy this tradition without worry.  He wouldn’t be marrying you if he didn’t love you.   Make plans with your girls even if it is a night in drinking wine - or go out with your friends to dinner.  Whatever you do, keep yourself occupied and don’t watch the clock or text him all night.


9. I won’t tackle too many DIY projects for my wedding


DIY projects add a personal touch to your wedding that you will not get from pre-purchased items.  But adding too many DIY projects to your to-do list and you’re bound to get overwhelmed.  DIY isn’t always cost saving either: between the time it takes to find your materials, buy them and assemble them you could be looking at hours of time to finish just one project.  Ask yourself if it is really worth it to spend every weekend leading up to your wedding crafting.  You won’t have much time to finish all your other wedding planning tasks or enjoy some down time with your partner.  Narrow your DIY projects down to one or two areas you’d like to focus on - or your projects and your relationships will suffer.


10. I won’t get obsessed with wedding planning that I forget what’s important

bride-groom-kissing-algonquin-park-weddingImage Rowell Photography

Your wedding is about the love that you share with your partner.  It is a celebration of joy and happiness.  Sometimes we get so involved in planning the “perfect” day that we often overlook what is really important: each other.  Remember to spend time with the one that you love and savor each moment of your engaged status.  Take time to cherish the little moments together leading up to the big day.  Your day will be perfect no matter what happens, and no one is really going to notice or remember insignificant details such as the rose petals not exactly matching your bridesmaid dresses - the only thing that matters is the love you share.

Do you have any tips to share that you used to create stress free wedding planning? We’d love to hear them!

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Founder of Inked Weddings and an 11 year veteran of the wedding industry, Erica has seen it all - and has a growing collection of her own personal Ink. She lives in between New York City and New Jersey with her beau, geek-in-training tween son, a newborn rock star to be, a rescue dog and two finicky Russian blue cats. Loves coffee, high heels, Helsinki and has a penchant for bad boys who are secretly superheros. Connect With Erica on Google+

Comments & Responses

One Response so far.

  1. Kerry Jones says:

    Really great and informative information, I think every pre bride needs to read this, thanks for sharing xx

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