Why I Don’t Want to be Your Bridesmaid


Why I Don't Want to be Your BridesmaidSource

I’ve had one friend ask me to be a bridesmaid so far. Initially I said yes, but had to back out. I was a freshman in college; I was broke. It was a legitimate reason.

That’s just one of the reasons why I don’t want to be your bridesmaid.

First thing’s first:  the cost. Being a bridesmaid is expensive. You have to pay for your dress, shoes and accessories, and hair and makeup. That’s just the day of the wedding–don’t forget you have to contribute to the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and maybe even the rehearsal dinner. Then you have to buy gifts. If you have to travel at all (last fling in Vegas or destination wedding), you’re responsible for your airfare and hotel stays. I’d end up like Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids, flying coach alone while everyone else was in first class.

Elite Daily reported that the average bridesmaid spends about $1,500-$1,800 per wedding. That statistic is from 2015, so the cost might be even more now, especially since the cost of a wedding has inflated over the years (http://www.refinery29.com/2016/02/102463/thumbtack-cost-of-average-wedding).

I could do a lot more with $2K in my pocket than spend it on a one-day occasion. That’s a fraction of my college loans!

But cost aside, being a bridesmaid does not entice me at all. I don’t think my girlfriends are the type to become bridezillas, but you never know. I’ve heard horror stories of friendships ending because friends declined bridesmaid requests. Remember this viral email of a nasty bride-to-be? I would have taken one look at that, laughed, deleted it, and then contemplated how I was ever friends with her in the first place.

I don’t want to wear a dress I don’t like and I don’t want to look like the rest of your bridesmaids, too. I don’t want you to ask me to cover my tattoos or get a spray tan because I’m so much paler than the rest of your bridesmaids.

I also don’t want to give up my weekends to go shopping and DIY-ing decorations and wedding favors. Then there’s all the dress fittings and rehearsals, and possibly attending other vendor events if you need extra help.

If I’m the maid of honor (groan) I’ll have to dedicate even more time…and worse. A speech?! I used to get panic attacks in my public speaking course.

So no, I don’t want to be your bridesmaid. But if I am, I guess the open bar and a decent bridesmaid gift will suffice.

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Writer & reader. Drinker of tea & whiskey. Tattoo aficionado. Hairless cat mommy.

Comments & Responses

One Response so far.

  1. Linda says:

    I was kind to my bridesmaids. I told my bridesmaids that their dresses didn’t have to match. I just wanted them to wear a black Chinese cheongsam. My sister worked at a second hand store during that time and she found a black cheongsam for a couple of bucks. The others went to Chinatown and got theirs. I didn’t want to put that kind of a financial burden on any of them because I would never want that put on me. As far as hair goes, they did their own hair and makeup and wore whatever shoes they wanted to. Screw making my wedding party spend a tonne of cash for one day–especially when it’s not even their own wedding.